Infant and toddler sleep problems are common. More than a quarter will wake at least one time every night.
In the first 6 months, your baby will wake and you will need to attend to him. But from an early age, you can teach your baby that night is different from day. So when feeding at night, keep the lights low and don't talk and play with your baby. This is good training for later.
From 6 months of age, you can manage infant and toddler sleep problems using the techniques outlined below.
My baby cries when he wakes and needs to be picked up before he settles again
It is important for babies to learn to fall asleep by themselves. If you always rock your baby in your arms until he's asleep and then put him in his bed (cot, crib), it will be frightening for him to wake in the night by himself. He won't know how to fall asleep by himself and will need to wake you for your help.
Every now and again it's lovely to let your infant or toddler sleep in your arms but don't make it the usual habit. Even if you have to wait until your baby is nearly falling asleep, put him in his own bed (cot, crib) before he actually nods off. He will learn that it is normal to be awake in his bed (cot, crib) and then to fall asleep and he will get used to the darkness.
Follow the Controlled Crying Technique in the section below.
My child cries in the middle of the night
At the beginning of this, you will want to check your child is alright.
Once, you recognize the crying as just wanting company, use the
Controlled Crying Technique which is very successful for infant and toddler sleep problems:
- wait 5 minutes before going to your child (10 minutes if you feel strong. 2 minutes if you're a real softie)
- go to your child and pick him up and comfort him - make him feel secure
- as soon as he settles down (crying to a sob is enough), put him back in his bed (cot, crib) and leave the room
- your child will probably start crying again immediately - wait and extra 2 minutes (so 7 minutes if you're average, 12 minutes if your a bit tougher and 4 minutes if you're a softie) before going to your child
- pick your child up and comfort him
- as soon as he settles down, put him back in his bed (cot, crib) and leave the room
- if he cries again, wait an extra 2 minutes before going back into his room
- pick him up and as soon as he settles down, it's back to bed and you leave
You need to be prepared to follow this technique through if it is to work to get your infant or toddler sleep disturbance resolved. If you give up half way, your child will just learn that if he persists long enough, he will get what he wants.
In very problematic cases of infant and toddler sleep disturbance, a small dose of sedative (like Vallergan) can be used in conjunction with this Controlled Crying Technique. You will need to see your doctor. Give the sedative after 30 minutes if your child still wakes (use sedatives for a short time only).
My toddler never stays in bed
You need to make sure you have a routine that your toddler understands. For example, a toddler sleep routine could be:
- tea time
- some time to play
- bath time
- quiet time
- bed time (I like a bed time story) and then it's lights out
If your toddler doesn't have a bedtime routine, it will be hard to keep him in bed, so first make sure you have a routine.
Once you have a routine, if your toddler gets out of bed, put him back being firm. Tell him it's bedtime and make it clear that there is no alternative but bed. If he gets up again, it's straight back to bed again being firm. Don't make it a game - children love to play and so any game is great for them. Once your toddler knows that there's no point getting out of bed, he'll stop it.
My child wakes and wants to play
If your child wakes and is awake, then playing is alright as long as it doesn't interfere with the rest of the house. Toddler sleep doesn't always coincide with parent's sleep. Putting some toys in your toddler's bed (cot, crib) gives him something to keep him occupied.
If your child uses a pacifier (dummy), you might want to attach it to his clothing so he can find it in the night. If you do attach it, use only a short tape (from the collar to the mouth) - you don't want any long strings or tapes that could potentially strangle your child.
Useful Resources
References
- Green C. Toddler Taming. Doubleday. 2001. ISBN: 1 86471 053 5
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Last reviewed 25 February 2008
