Toddler discipline - sound a bit severe? Discipline actually refers to training so this page is about toddler training. Sounds much better doesn't it?
It's important as a parent to remember that it is a normal part of child development for a child from about 18 months of age to want to have his whole world at his feet. It is also normal that you, the parent, will want to teach your child that he belongs to a family and he has to fit in.
From a management point of view, the principles of toddler discipline and child behavior management are:
- give positive reinforcement for behaviors you want - praise even the small things, like "what a good boy for listening so well". Consider a reward chart.
- ignore behaviors you don't want - it can be hard, but specific advice is given on pages for temper tantrums and breath-holding spells
- use time out for "out-of-control" behavior
Why doesn't my ignoring seem to work?
I often find that parents know the principles but still can't figure out how to change their toddler's behavior. Sometimes, you are just too close to see what is happening.
Using the ABC of Understanding Toddler Behavior you will be able to understand what is really going on for your child and then you will be able to implement the strategies above successfully.
What is the ABC of Understanding Toddler Behavior?
- A is for Antecedents - you need to ask yourself "what happens before the behavior?" so, for example, for understanding tantrums what happens before the tantrum.
- B is for Behavior - you need to be clear what behavior you are looking at. If your child has a few behaviors you don't want, pick one behavior you want to change most and start with that.
- C is for Consequences - what happens once the behavior starts? What do you do? What's in it for the child? Usually, the answer will be attention of some kind.
Now, you're armed with all you need for toddler discipline - toddler training!
You know what brings the behavior on and what the "reward" for the behavior is.
To change the behavior, simply do not reward it in the way you have.
To "ignore" is to "fail to reward".
References
- Green C. Toddler Taming. Doubleday. 2001. ISBN: 1 86471 053 5
To go to the top of the Toddler Discipline page, click here
To go to the main Behavior page, click here
To read more about Reward Charts, click here
To read more about Time out, click here
To return to the Home page, click here
Last reviewed 23 September 2007