Day care

by Kat
(Austin,TX,USA)

OK, I work at a child care facility. There is a two year old in the class next to me that has serious behavior issues. I am concerned because I think this child really needs some extra TLC. This child is out of control,he hits all his friends, bites, kicks, curses, and throws tantrums for no reason.

This behavior is not only directed to his peers but to his teacher as well. He called her a curse word on more than one occasion and bit her then tries to hit her or any other teacher around him.

When the teacher brought this up the center said to ignore him, and not to place him in time out for any reason and to give him whatever he wanted. I really think this is just reinforcing the negative behavior. It is in all the psychology and resource books, that you are not to give into the unwanted behavior. But the center says he needs love.

The teacher is not allowed now to place any child in time out. Any time she tries to talk to the child he spits or bites her, or has absolutely no remorse. When asked to go apologize the child says no, and throws a fit. You ask the child to line up, wash hands or do a simple task and voila a fit.

It is really frustrating to know how to handle the situation and what advice is best to give. I really want to talk to the center director and see if maybe a middle ground can be meet. Our jobs as teachers are tested enough through out the day, and we use all our resources to better handle situations, however when your hands are tied what are you to do?

Dr Maud Answers

I can see that this is a challenging problem for you and your colleagues. You may find the following resources helpful:

1.Play Nicely - a program for hitting and biting.
2.Talking to Toddlers Audio Course - this is a great course and gives lots of practical advice on how to talk to toddlers to get the behavior you want.

You will also find useful information on the Behavior Page