My Child Won't Eat
I commonly have parents bringing their toddler to me with the complaint, "My child won't eat". I look at the child and see a well nourished, happy child who is developing normally. Having worked in Ethiopia in the 1985 famine, I know what a child who really doesn't eat (because there isn't anything to eat) looks like. A child who doesn't eat will look like she's starving.
The parents who come to me saying their child won't eat are concerned because they have a child who only picks at food or never eats the meals put out for her. This is not the same as a starving child but it still is worrying for the parent. This page will help you if it seems your child is one of those that just "won't eat".
Should I be concerned if my child won't eat?If your child is growing appropriately (see the growth charts) and is happy and developing normally, don't be concerned. Even though your child won't eat, she is getting enough calories to grow and that's what's important. If your child is not following an appropriate growth line, then you need to see your doctor.How can my child be getting enough calories if she doesn't eat much?Children who seem not to eat anything are usually grazing. Grazing refers to eating and drinking a little bit at a time throughout the day. I have parents who say, "but she only has half a biscuit" or "she only drinks half her juice" - they are probably right but half a biscuit contains calories and so does half a juice. As long as they have access to food, children are very good at getting the energy (calorie) requirements they need. And the fact they are growing appropriately confirms this.
Why doesn't my child eat at meal times?If your child is grazing, then she is getting enough calories and so she won't be hungry at mealtimes (so the child won't eat). Children get a lot of their calories from milk, juice and fruit-flavored drinks and so it's important to limit these.Once a child is over 12 months of age, she should only be having about 2 cups of milk per day - children who have more than 2 cups of cow's milk daily can get low iron which reduces the appetite - see Toddler Food.Sometimes, a child won't eat at the mealtime because she knows that if she doesn't have the meal, she will be offered something else afterwards. Parents do this because they are worried about a child not eating but, in fact, it only makes the problems worse. Of course, your toddler will hold out for the preferred food if that's what happens every time she refuses dinner. Should I force-feed my toddler?How can I get my toddler to eat at meal times?Some children are happy grazing and their parents are happy with them doing that. However, if you want your child to eat at mealtimes, you need to do the following:
What if my child doesn't eat for days?That often happens. If your child is used to being offered an alternative if she doesn't have her meal - which parents feel obliged to do - she will expect an alternative. She has a strong will and will try to break your resolve. She will be fine not eating for a few days - I tell parents not to be worried even if their child doesn't eat for a week. If you give in and give food between meals, your child will just learn to be more stubborn at not eating at mealtimes.If you feel very uncomfortable with your child not eating at meals, rather than give in completely, offer something that you know your child will eat at the next meal / snack time. The message will still be "food only at meal or snack times" but you can relax because you know your child has eaten something. Lots of parents will give their child a before-bed snack that is a bottle of milk.
How can I make meals more appealing if my child won't eat?
References
To go to the top of My Child Won't Eat page, click here To read more about Toddler food, click here To read about what constitutes a Healthy Toddler Diet, click here To go to the main Behavior page, click here To go to the Growth page, click here To return to the Home page, click here Last reviewed 9 July 2009
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