Why is My Baby Crying? Help for Desperate Mums. How to cope with a crying baby

To hear a baby crying is so heart-wrenching. The sound reaches deep inside of you. All you want to do is calm and quieten your baby. But how do you know what the problem is? Should you stay calm or is this crying a cause for alarm?

Why do babies cry?
Reasons for a Crying Baby

Use the Basic Strategy to check for the usual culprits
Is your baby going through the fussy stage or does he have colic?
Is the crying caused by pain?
Is my baby unwell?

Will I spoil my child if I pick him up? - opens in a new page
What if my baby cries in the night - opens in a new page

Why does my baby cry?

First, let me tell you that a baby crying is normal. How else can your baby communicate? If you feel uncomfortable or hungry, chances are that you will share that with those close to you. That's what we humans do. Babies are no different except they don't have the language skills yet to communicate with words. But, as you know, they have their own unique way of being heard.

So a baby crying is a baby trying to communicate. A baby can't fend for himself, so he depends on his mother, or father or whoever his carer is, to look after him.

He needs to be able to tell her when he needs help or attention. He cries.

It is up to you to figure out what is wrong. It can be difficult at times but don't worry, I will help you with some simple strategies to decide what the matter might be.

If you are concerned that picking up your crying baby, will "spoil" her, click here.

Remember, never shake a crying baby. If you feel stressed and your baby is crying, put him in his crib and leave him to settle if there is nobody else to take him.

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Why is My Baby Crying?

There are 4 main sections below that deal with different causes of a baby crying.

Basic strategy - try this first. Click here

A fussy baby who cries but is otherwise well. Click here

A different cry than usual, perhaps associated with pain. Click here

A baby crying who is unwell in other ways and may have a serious illness. Click here

To read about the controlled crying technique used to get babies over 6 months back to sleep, click here

Basic Strategy for Crying

Babies cry if they are uncomfortable or distressed. So, first questions to ask yourself are:

Is my baby hungry? If it's time for a feed, feed him.

Does my baby need a diaper (nappy) change? Check for a wet or dirty diaper (nappy) and change if necessary.

Is my baby too hot or too cold? Your baby needs to be warm but not too hot. Make sure your baby is appropriately dressed. If you are comfortable in short sleeves, your baby might be too hot in 4 layers of clothing! As a general guide, your baby's skin should feel warm or be covered, and your baby shouldn't be sweaty. Cold feet? - put on booties. Red in the face and sweaty? - take off a layer.

Does your baby feel lonely? Try picking him up and rocking him gently. Remind him that you are still around and haven't abandoned him - make him feel safe and loved.

Does your baby need to wind (burp) - it can be uncomfortable for a baby to have gas. To read about burping a baby, click here

Is your baby tired? Sometimes, babies are so tired, they just don't know what to do with themselves and they cry. If you think your baby is tired, try putting him to sleep. He may cry a little at first - you may need to rock him a little, but try and help him to fall asleep.

Is your baby perfectly well between episodes of crying? Your baby may just be going through his fussy stage. - read more about this below in the colic section.

Does your baby seem unwell in any way? Is he feeding normally? Is he as aware of his surroundings as usual? Is he a strange color (grey or blue)? Has he been vomiting more than usual? If you answered yes to any of these questions and your baby is irritable and not settling at all, your baby may be ill and you should see your doctor. You can read more about illnesses that may be causing the crying below.

Fussy Baby

A baby crying is sometimes referred to as a fussy baby. All babies go through a fussy stage at some stage over the first three months of life. Your baby is just getting used to this world. They have to figure things out and it can be scary all by yourself in a strange land!!! They don't always know what they want or need - they're just fussy (and cry).

If the usual strategies such as feeding or cleaning didn't stop the crying , then your baby might just be fussy (sometimes referred to as colic). Fussy babies have their crying moments and then are perfectly happy doing everything normally (feeding and sleeping and goo-ing and gaa-ing) for hours. Then they can have a fussy time again. So, if most of the time your baby seems happy and well, but just has crying times, then your baby might just be fussy. Don't worry, read more about this on the colic page.

If you think your baby crying is due to Colic , click here - this page gives you information on what colic is and how we diagnose it. It then links with the colic treatment page. If you already know about colic and just want to read about the treatments for colic, you can go directly to the colic treatment page.

To go to the Colic Treatment page, click here - this page gives up-to-date information on treatment options for colic.

Unusual Cry. Is It Pain?

If you think the way your baby is crying is different from his usual cry or there are other symptoms, your baby may need some medical help. Trust your instincts and get some help.

If your baby is having short bouts of crying while drawing up his legs and then is settled for a while before starting again (more frequent and closer together than a fussy baby), he may have a blocked (obstructed) bowel, like an intussusception or a strangulated hernia. You can read more about these on the Intussusception or Hernia pages.

To go to the Intussusception page, click here - read about this condition where you get telescoping of the bowel into itself causing a blockage (obstruction). It can usually be treated without an operation.

To go to the Hernia page, click here - read about hernias in babies - which type need surgery and which type needs no treatment. What is a strangulated hernia? this section is especially important if you have a boy baby crying.

Unwell Baby

Sometimes, a baby crying can be an indicator of a sick baby. To find out what other features should cause concern, see the section on Signs of Serious Illness in a Baby - click here.

For help with babies who wake crying, click here - information on the Controlled Crying Technique, a behavioral approach to stop your baby waking at night and crying. Suitable for babies over 6 months of age.

To go to the top of the Baby Crying page, click here

To return to the Home Page, click here

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Last reviewed 3 June 2011

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