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Baby Medical Q&A, Issue #098 Resilience
May 01, 2015

Welcome to another edition of Baby Medical Q&A News.

This post was supposed to go out in December 2014, but there was a gremlin in the works :-)

Anyway, it is time now for it to go out into the world.


The theme this month is resilience. Resilience is the ability to adapt to stress, to get up when you are knocked down.

I think of resilience as the intangible thing that helps you remember there is always a rainbow after a storm, that all things will pass, that you can get up and move forward even if your whole being is telling you no.

Some people are more resilient than others but it's not a 'you have it or you don't' kind of thing. You can build resilience and being part of a strong community is one way you can do that, and it can just be by simple things like offering to make a meal for someone as you'll read in the links below.

To illustrate what I mean, I thought I'd share a story that has moved me.

It could be called a tragedy because it's a story of loss and grief, but it's so much more than that because it's also a story of strength, courage, hope and love. It's a story of resilience.

The story starts when a motor vehicle accident takes the lives of a mother (Sally), her 12 year old daughter (Ella) and her daughter's 12 year old friend (Abi). The 2 girls were a year older than my niece and they used to go on the bus to school with her every day. They had all known each other for years.

My sister was very close to all three and is a very good friend of Lucy - the mother of Abi. So it all felt very close as I know Lucy through my sister and I saw Lucy and her family a few days after Abi's death.

Lucy is an academic and she's been studying resilience as part of her PhD. She started a blog after Abi died and I think it's incredibly brave of her and the blog is inspirational. Lucy is walking the walk of resilience and I couldn't express it better than she does, so please read the posts and/or subscribe to the blog here.

Lucy has spoken of how strong communities build resilience at an international academic meeting - you can read more here.

One of Abi's brothers, Paddy (14 years old), is in a band called AfterShock. They had a song they'd written called Shadows and after Abi's death, they changed the lyrics slightly to express their sadness after the death of 2 special young girls they were close to and they sang it at Abi's funeral - it is amazing and you can listen here.

The love doesn't stop there. Abi's godmother (Alex) is a designer and she created colorful stickers for Abi's funeral. They're called Abis Dots, which you can buy and some of the proceeds go to one of the family's favorite charities. My niece has these dots all over her bedroom walls and they're on the back of my sister's car. I saw them on a car at the supermarket the other day. I can't help but smile when I see them. They are a little bit of brightness. My experience with grief was that is seemed that the sun would never shine brightly again and that the colors of the sky and trees and flowers would never be so vivid again. If that is how it is for you, then maybe seeing brightly colored dots will remind you of happy times and make life seem not so heavy.
You can read more about these here.

As an aside, I met Alex on a plane once. We talked non-stop all the way to our destination. I love her bright, happy style and I love her designs and blog - click here.

So, I wish you all peace and joy for the coming year. For those of you who have experienced sadness this year:

I wish that you feel arms wrapped around you when you feel down

That you find stillness inside when it feels like chaos abounds

That you find strength when it feels like you're breaking

And that when tears flow they are followed by sweet memories of moments shared

If stress is too much, listen to what Zansie Maye (of Xpansife Coaching) advises as simple stress busters - you can listen for free on Enwaken Radio - click here and go to the 9/18/14 (September 18 2014) podcast called Stress Busters.

Or consider a coaching session with Zansie (Xpansife coaching) - click here.

And for you all, think of what one thing you might do to strengthen your community this holiday season. Build resilience one kind act at a time.

Love and light


Please feel free to share this ezine with family and friends.

Till next time,

Dr Maud

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